The Guided Ambition Partnership Agreement
I like to think of the Partnership Agreement as the constitutional foundation of the Guided Ambition Lab. It's the thing we need to agree to first before we can move forward with the strategies that this program recommends. Those strategies can be customized and adjusted for every family. But for this program to work, we need to agree to these principles first.
First, I want to clarify what this Partnership Agreement is not, because I know that term can feel loaded with some preconceptions. First, it is not a set of rules for your student to follow. Teenagers already have to follow enough rules that they have very little say in.
It is not something you review together once and set aside. That would be a waste of time.
It is not a contract you hold over students' heads when things go wrong. If your student is supposed to be working on a project and you see them playing video games, that doesn't mean we barge in with the agreement like "Hey, you agreed ot this!" Likewise, your student shouldn't be holding your violations over your head.
And it's not a promise that the nagging will stop on its own. It's a commitment that will take work and time from both parties.
Instead, this agreement IS a yearly renegotiation of roles as your student grows. You may renegotiate them more than that too.
It's a structure that makes your own behavior as explicit as theirs. You'll find that for every set of expectations for your student, there's a set of expectations for you, the parent.
It's the foundation of the Sunday Sync conversations. You and your student will have roles based on your student's grade level and level of demonstrated independence. You will act out those roles in your Sunday Syncs.
And it's a commitment to building independence, not managing outcomes. This is not where we say "You need to get straight A's. You need to get into Harvard." We're building systems that lead to success, whatever success might look like for your student.
Don’t panic if your student isn’t ready for the level of independence indicated for their grade level. If your 11th grader is at a 9th grade level of academic responsibility, you might use this agreement to push them to handle a 10th grade level. You’re the expert. Use this agreement as a starting point.
Click the button below to get access to a printable and signable version of the Partnership Agreement and the complete Guided Ambition Lab. Once you get access, you’ll find the Partnership Agreement in Module 1: Family Operating System.
The Guided Ambition Partnership Agreement
Core Principles of the Guided Ambition Lab
These principles govern every year of the agreement, regardless of when you join.
We want the student to become a successful, independent adult who is ready — not just admitted — for what comes next.
We want the parent to enjoy a fulfilling life beyond their role as parent and to model that life throughout these four years.
We want a healthy, peaceful student-parent relationship built on trust, not surveillance.
We want the student to explore their genuine interests and pursue meaningful, sustainable work.
We see college as an important step in a longer journey, not the destination.
9th Grade: The Explorer and the Mechanic
Our shared vision: The Four Year Launch
9th grade is a transition year. The goal is not a perfect résumé. Our goal is to establish effective habits. We are moving from the hand-holding of middle school toward collaborative independence in high school and adult self-reliance in college. By June, the Explorer should be managing their own calendar, communicating directly with teachers, and actively engaged in something that actually interests them. The Mechanic's job is to set up the systems and then get out of the way.
II. Depths and Domains of Practice. We both agree to use the DDP framework to anchor our development — student and parent equally. The parent understands that their role is to model the growth they desire to see in their student.
Student:
Kickoff Session: I commit to a 30-minute session at the start of the year to open my Curiosity entries and complete the Weekly Schedule tab.
Sunday Sync: I bring my DDP to every Sunday Sync. My Curiosity questions are what I share most in 9th grade.
Semester transitions: I commit to a Look Back/Look Ahead session at the start and end of each semester.
Post-term reflection: I review my progress toward Expertise and Initiative at the end of each term.
Violations: I note my parent's violations but save them for Sunday Sync, not mid-week.
Parent(s):
Kickoff Session: I complete my own Curiosity entries and Weekly Schedule tab at the start of the year.
Sunday Sync: I ask about my student's DDP during Sunday Sync. I never use it as a mid-week pressure tool.
Semester transitions: I commit to a Look Back/Look Ahead session with my student at semester transitions.
Post-term reflection: I review my own progress toward Expertise and Initiative alongside my student's.
Violations: I note my student's violations but save them for Sunday Sync — not mid-week.
III. Academic Standards. 9th grade is about learning how to learn.
Student:
I check my grade portal every 24-48 hours to catch missing assignments before they compound.
I learn to use a digital calendar or planner to manage my own deadlines — not my parent's reminders.
When I have a question about a grade, I email the teacher myself. I don't route this through my parent.
I show up to every class on time, device-away, and ready to engage.
I ask for help before the problem becomes a crisis — not the night before a final.
Parent(s):
I stop nagging about individual assignments during the school week.
I only look at the grade portal during Sunday Sync — not mid-week, not on impulse.
I celebrate study process ('I noticed you used focused blocks today') more than quiz scores.
When a serious setback occurs, I help design a recovery strategy — I don't panic or take over.
The 24-Hour Rule: If a 'failing' or 'missing' flag appears, I wait 24 hours before mentioning it, giving my student the chance to address it first.
IV. Extracurricular Exploration. 9th grade is a year to try things. You’re not locking in any decisions.
Student:
I try at least three different clubs or activities this year — one per season or semester. I don't have to be good at them; I have to show up.
One Hard Thing: I pick one skill or project unrelated to grades — fitness, a hobby, a creative project, a job — and I work on it consistently.
At Sunday Sync, I share what's pulling my curiosity most. I don't judge it by how it looks on paper.
Parent(s):
I provide transportation, fees, and equipment for my student's explorations.
I serve as a thought partner in the development of the One Hard Thing.
I research and suggest activities relevant to my student's established interests, but I don't insist.
V. The Sunday Sync. This is the weekly conversation that makes the Guided Ambition Lab work. A structured, 30-minute conversation once a week dedicated to the discussion of academics, extracurriculars, and college planning. Use this time to work through my resources as well.
Student brings:
“Here is my calendar for this week and where I might need help.”
“This is what I’ve been curious about from my DDP recently.”
“Here is where I’m struggling and what I’ve tried so far.”
Parent responds:
“I hear you. Here is what I can do.”
“What’s the most interesting thing you learned this week?”
“What questions are you exploring from your Depths & Domains?”
“Here are some adjustments I think could help...”
VI. The Parent’s Parallel Path. As my student grows more independent, I recognize that I will have extra time and energy. I commit to spending that energy on my own Curiosity — not on redirecting it toward hovering. I will develop my own DDP throughout the year and share my progress in Sunday Sync conversations.
VII. Looking Ahead to 10th Grade
Student:
I choose a 10th grade schedule that is more rigorous than this year's — in the subjects that genuinely interest me and other subjects if manageable.
I enter 10th grade knowing what my One Hard Thing is and ready to invest in it more seriously.
Parent(s):
I help my student reflect on their academic strengths and weaknesses to select a challenging but manageable course load.
I begin stepping back from daily logistics in preparation for the Project Manager role.
10th Grade: The Builder and the Project Manager
I. Our Shared Vision: Building Depth
10th grade is the year of specialization. We are moving from 'trying everything' to 'investing in a few things.' The goal is a solidifying GPA, a narrower extracurricular focus, and the emergence of a genuine Spike. The Builder commits to depth over breadth. The Project Manager steps back from daily logistics and begins funding the student's initiative rather than managing their schedule.
II. Depths & Domains of Practice
Joining in 10th Grade? Begin the DDP as written. Complete the Kickoff Session, open your Curiosity entries, and set your Weekly Schedule before the year begins.
If continuing from 9th grade: Revise and deepen your Curiosity entries using last year's DDP as a starting point. Expertise should be growing in at least one domain. If you haven't taken serious Initiative yet, that becomes this year's focus.
Student:
Kickoff Session: I revisit last year's DDP and set my Curiosity, Discipline targets, and Weekly Schedule for this year.
Sunday Sync: I refer to my DDP at every Sunday Sync, tracking progress toward Expertise.
LIIIP lens: I evaluate my One Hard Thing against all five LIIIP dimensions: Leadership, Initiative, Impact, Intellect, Professionalism.
Semester transitions: Look Back/Look Ahead session at each transition — 30–60 minutes.
Post-term reflection: End-of-term reflection on Expertise and Initiative progress, shared with my parent.
Parent(s):
Kickoff Session: I complete my own DDP Kickoff alongside my student — I don't just supervise theirs.
Sunday Sync: I ask about DDP progress during Sync only. I never use it as a mid-week pressure tool.
LIIIP lens: When reviewing my student's OHT, I ask about LIIIP dimensions — leadership, initiative, impact, intellect, and professionalism — not just hours logged.
Semester transitions: I participate in the Look Back/Look Ahead session with my student.
Post-term reflection: I complete my own end-of-term reflection and share my progress at Sunday Sync.
III. Academic Standards. 10th grade is often when the workload intensifies. This is where we strengthen the academic habits we started building last year, getting ready for things to get even harder next year.
Student:
I commit to academic excellence in every class. I show up ready, manage the increased workload, and seek help early.
I check my grade portal every 48 hours. I don't wait for Sunday Sync to surface a developing problem.
I use the Lab's study strategy tools to manage workload without burning out.
I choose a schedule that challenges me, not one that protects my GPA at the expense of growth.
Parent(s):
At our first Sunday Sync, we agree together on how often I check the portal, less frequently than 9th grade.
If I see a dip, I ask 'Do you need to adjust your strategy or your schedule?' I don't panic or take over.
I trust the systems we built last year. I don't rebuild them in response to temporary setbacks.
The 24-Hour Rule: Still in full effect. No mid-week grade-checking or text-nagging.
IV. The One Hard Thing: Building the Spike. We are moving from exploring to building. This is the year the “spike” emerges.
Student:
I narrow my focus to 1–2 core activities where I can pursue genuine leadership, initiative, impact, intellect, and professionalism.
I look for ways to take initiative: starting a project, proposing a new direction, self-studying a complex skill, building something real.
At Sunday Sync, I report on my OHT progress — not just effort, but movement toward LIIIP dimensions.
Parent(s):
I act as the Project Managert: I facilitate the Spike when my student shows consistent ROI in effort and discipline.
I provide tools, camps, software, or coaching as needed for advanced mastery — within our budget.
I don't redirect funding to activities I prefer over the ones my student has chosen.
V. Launching Testing Strategy
Student:
I take the PSAT/PreACT as a low-stakes diagnostic.
I use the Lab's Testing Strategy Guide to compare SAT and ACT and identify which test fits my profile better.
I take one full-length practice version of each test before committing to a prep path.
Parent(s):
I keep pressure low. These scores are information, not judgment.
I do not compare my student's scores to siblings, neighbors, or online benchmarks.
I trust the process outlined in the Lab's Testing Strategy Guide.
VI. The Sunday Sync. Same structure as 9th grade, now expanded to include One Hard Thing progress reporting.
Student brings:
“Here is my progress on my One Hard Thing this week.”
“Here is my calendar and where I might need resources or support.”
“Here is what I’m currently struggling with and what I’ve tried.”
Parent(s) respond:
“I hear you. Here is what I can do.”
“What LIIIP dimension are you developing most right now?”
“What would it look like to take this to the next level?
VII. The Parent’s Identity Audit. As my student spends more time on their interests and their social life, I intentionally pull back. I commit to my own One Hard Thing this year. I demonstrate through action — not just words — that a fulfilling life is about personal growth, not proximity to someone else's achievements.
VIII. Looking Ahead to 11th Grade.
Student:
I choose an 11th grade schedule that represents peak academic rigor. My most challenging courses should align with my Spike and my career direction.
I enter junior year knowing what my Spike is and ready to scale it.
Parent(s):
I help my student select a demanding but manageable course load, reflecting on their 10th grade strengths and gaps.
I begin preparing for the Consultant role: external advisor, not weekly manager.
11th Grade: The Architect and the Consultant
I. Our Shared Vision. Resilient Independence. Junior year is the Architect's most consequential academic year. The academic and organizational skills that the student developed in the past two years will be put to their biggest test. They may encounter new challenges that require the Consultant’s advice while still maintaining their independence. This is also the year that the student should be taking the greatest extracurricular initiative in the domains of practice most relevant to their interests and goals. The Consultant's role is to advise, resource, and protect, not manage.
II. Depths and Domains of Practice.
Joining in 11th grade? Begin the DDP as written. The Narrative Thread Map, completed at the end of junior year, will be your bridge from the DDP to the college application. Start building toward Expertise and Initiative now.
If continuing from 10th grade: your Expertise should be visible and evidenced. Building something real and scaling something meaningful is the primary focus this year. The Narrative Thread Map is the document that synthesizes your DDP into an application identity. Plan to complete it this summer.
Student:
Kickoff: Revisit last year's DDP. Identify what has reached Expertise. Set a concrete Initiative target for this year.
Narrative Thread Map: I commit to completing the Narrative Thread Map by the end of junior year, using my DDP as the foundation.
LIIIP self-assessment: At each Sunday Sync, I evaluate my OHT against LIIIP. Not just hours, but depth of engagement.
Semester transitions: Look Back/Look Ahead sessions at each transition. This reflection should clarify the scholarly and pre-professional identity I’ve been developing.
Post-term reflection: I identify specific evidence of Expertise and Initiative I can point to, not just feelings about progress.
Parent(s):
Kickoff: I complete my own DDP kickoff. My parallel development this year is not optional. t models what I'm asking of my student.
Narrative Thread Map: I understand what the NTM is, and I don't pressure my student to 'figure out their story' ahead of the process.
LIIIP: When I ask about the OHT at Sunday Sync, I ask about LIIIP dimensions, not just 'how is it going?'
Semester transitions: I participate in Look Back/Look Ahead sessions with genuine investment in my own parallel track.
III. Academic Standards. Time to lock in. This is the hardest academic year.
Student:
I consult with every teacher proactively at the start of the year to understand what earning an A requires, and I make a plan for each class.
I check my grade portal daily. I address issues immediately, not at the next Sunday Sync.
I manage this workload. If I'm in crisis, I say so early enough to course-correct.
Parent(s):
At the first Sunday Sync, we agree on how often I check the portal.
I judge my student by effort and recovery, not just the letter on the report card.
I trust my student to manage their deadlines. I am available to help design a recovery strategy. I don't build it for them.
IV. The One Hard Thing. Impact and Scaling. Junior year should represent the peak of your student’s LIIIP dimensions, manifested most clearly in their One Hard Thing. If that’s not viable, junior year should put the student on a path toward extracurricular peak during the summer before or fall of their senior year.
Student:
I begin scaling my One Hard Thing. Leadership, mentorship, production, publication, or expanded reach.
I bring Initiative to my primary activities: I lead, I build, I propose, I produce something that didn't exist before.
I can articulate the Impact of my OHT in specific, measurable terms, not just hours invested.
Parent(s):
I act as External Advisor. I help brainstorm how to turn the work into a recognized Spike. I don't decide what the Spike is.
I provide resources for advanced mastery: specialized software, professional certifications, expert coaching.
Protect the asset: I ensure my student has enough downtime to sustain high-level effort without burning out.
V. College Planning.
Student:
I lead my college research using Lab tools, including the College List Architecture Guide, the College List Organizer, and the Deep College Research framework.
I build a preliminary list of 15–20 schools, researched across all five fit dimensions: academic, social, financial, strategic, and outcomes.
I share at least one new school I've researched at every Sunday Sync.
I manage my SAT/ACT registration and prep schedule independently.
Parent(s):
Full budget transparency: I share the actual college budget with my student. Not 'we'll figure it out' but the real numbers, including our loan tolerance and merit aid strategy.
I help book campus tours, but the student leads the visit and the questions.
I take on scholarship research as a parallel track. This is a contribution, not a requirement.
I access the Lab's College List Organizer and Financial Aid Strategy Guide and read them before advising my student.
VI. The Sunday Sync. Same structure, now expanded to include college planning updates and testing progress.
Student brings:
“Here’s the progress I’ve made on my OHT and any tests or competitions coming up.”
“Here’s one school I researched this week. This is what I like and what it would cost.”
“Here’s where I might need resources, logistics, or a second opinion.”
Parent responds:
“Tell me more about that school. What did you find in your major’s department?”
“Here is what I can do logistically and financially this week.”
“How is your OHT developing against the LIIIP framework?”
VII. The Identity Agreement.
Student:
I recognize that my parent's support comes from love, not from a desire to live through my achievements.
I share my wins and my struggles at Sunday Sync rather than performing for an audience.
Parent(s):
I commit to my own One Hard Thing this year.
I will not make my student's college application my primary identity. Their application is theirs.
When the process gets stressful, I am a calming presence, not an anxious one.
VIII. Looking Ahead to 12th Grade
Student:
I have a finalized college list by the end of junior year.
I complete my Narrative Thread Map before senior fall so essays start with a clear identity, not a blank page.
I register for any remaining SAT/ACT sittings before the summer ends.
Parent(s):
I review and sign off on the finalized college list, confirming I've independently assessed financial viability.
I help my student transition into the CEO role: less advice, more trust.
I begin the Board Chair's Strategic Obsolescence. I’m investing more time in my own career, hobbies, and relationships.
12th Grade: The CEO and the Board Chair
I. Our Shared Vision. The Successful Launch. The college application process is the CEO's final exam in independence. Success is defined not by the prestige of the acceptance letter, but by the student's ability to manage this complex project with integrity and autonomy. The Board Chair's job is strategic obsolescence: to become increasingly unnecessary so the CEO can launch on their own terms.
II. Depths & Domains of Practice.
Joining in 12th Grade? Open the DDP and complete the Kickoff Session. Even if you're starting fresh, the reflection on who you've become in high school — your genuine interests, your depth of engagement, your values — is the foundation of the personal statement. Complete the Narrative Thread Map before writing anything.
If continuing from 11th grade: Your DDP now holds the raw material for your Applicant Identity Statement. Use the Narrative Thread Map to synthesize it. The application should proceed logically from the identity developed in the DDP and Narrative Thread Map.
Student:
Kickoff: I reflect deeply on four years of development — curiosity, discipline, expertise, initiative — and I name my through-line honestly.
Narrative Thread Map: I complete the NTM before writing any essay. My Applicant Identity Statement governs every piece of writing.
Sunday Sync: I refer to my DDP and application status at every Sunday Sync. College talk stays in this room.
Post-term reflection: End-of-fall reflection after applications are submitted. End-of-year reflection after decisions.
Parent(s):
Kickoff: I reflect on my own DDP with specific focus on empty nest readiness — my relationships, my work, my hobbies, my identity beyond parenting this child (or parenting generally if this is your only/last child to leave the house).
Narrative Thread Map: I understand what the NTM is. I don't pressure my student to 'figure out their story.’ I trust the framework.
Sunday Sync: College talk stays in the Sunday Sync.
DDP Semester Review: I complete the Empty Nest Track in my Parent DDP at the end of every semester this year.
III. Applications. The student owns the submit button.
Student.
I own every deadline, essay draft, and recommendation request. No one else manages this project.
I maintain my academic standards from junior year. I understand that my final transcript matters.
When I need a final review, I ask for it clearly. I incorporate feedback as I see fit.
I manage all communications with colleges, admissions offices, and counselors.
Parent(s):
I am officially resigned from academic management.
I do not write, substantially rewrite, or overhaul any essay. I provide feedback when specifically requested.
I pay application fees and provide a second pair of eyes on final materials. That is the full extent of my editorial role.
I do not contact colleges on my student's behalf.
IV. The One Hard Thing Finale.
Student:
I bring my One Hard Thing to a meaningful conclusion: a final season, a completed portfolio, a leadership hand-off, a published work.
I refrain from any last-minute panicking, redirection, or extracurricular box-checking.
I explore ways of handing off my extracurricular leadership to younger students who may continue the work I did.
Parent(s):
I celebrate the character my student built through their Spike regardless of whether it 'gets them in' anywhere.
I recognize that the OHT was never about the college application. It was about who they became.
V. The Sunday Sync
Student brings:
“Here are my upcoming deadlines (EA/ED/RD) and essay status.”
“Here are my logistical needs: application fees, transcript requests, recommendation follow-ups.”
“This is what I need cleared financially or practically.”
Parent responds:
“Are there financial or logistical barriers I need to clear for you?
Parent reserves scrupulous, justified use of emergency check-ins to avoid critical mistakes and missed deadlines, but by no means should students depend on this function. That would be a violation of this agreement.
VI. Financial Transparency
Student:
I research the financial picture for every school on my list using the Lab's Financial Aid Strategy Guide and Net Price Calculators.
I lead scholarship and external aid searches as a contribution to the family college budget.
I understand the difference between grants, loans, and work-study in every award letter I receive.
Parent(s):
I am 100% transparent about what our family can afford. Not 'we'll figure it out' but actual numbers, loan tolerance, and financial boundaries.
I respect my student's final school choice, provided it falls within the financial parameters we agreed on.
I do not override the CEO's college decision based on prestige or sentiment, only on genuinely agreed financial constraints.
VII. Strategic Obsolescence: Empty Nest Preparation. This is the Board Chair's most important responsibility of the year, and it belongs entirely to the parent.
The parent commits:
I intentionally invest more time this year in my own career, relationships, hobbies, and creative pursuits, not as a distraction from my student's launch, but as preparation for my own.
I complete the Empty Nest Track in my Parent DDP Semester Review at the end of every semester.
By move-in day, I have a life I am genuinely excited to return to.
I model what it looks like to be a thriving, curious, purposeful adult so that my student can leave with pride.
